Wednesday, September 26, 2007

You Are Warned


Spider-Squirrel Cropped, originally uploaded by PixEmonkey.

I don't know if anyone else has noticed but there is a new gang in town. From what I can tell, they are not affiliated with any of the traditional culprits. I am sorry to report that they are becoming more brazen. A neighbor of mine reported one coming right up on his porch, taking a dump, while my neighbor is sitting right there mind you, and then laughing at him. Unfortunately that is not a lone encounter, this gray menace runs in packs. They make a racket and chase each other all over peoples yards and in the streets. I've tried calling 311 but they are lightning quick and can vanish in seconds. My advice to you: Don't look them in the eyes and try to ignore them. Do not confront them under any circumstances. I'll update you as I find out more...

22 comments:

sfw said...

Don't forget - they get black walnuts from the tree in the alley, crack them open, then used the walnut dye to make graffiti on your porch

Anonymous said...

awww... but they're so darn cute!

theneighbor said...

I came out of my house the other day to find one lounging on my front porch furniture. I went in to get him a nice shot of whiskey (being neighborly and all that)but when I came out he was tearing up my flower box. I guess I should have offered walnut flavor liquor.

mradequate said...

beware the bushy-tailed tree rat. and know they'll find that stash of acorns you've been saving up for winter.

Livin' in Fear said...

They have been terrorizing my cats, by climbing onto our window ledges and throwing their gang signs at them.

Anonymous said...

That's why I have mah dawgz, my boy Pete is a killa.

odentex said...

They took out Lil' Gal's flowerbox and tomato plant. She's out for blood.

Jamie said...

Are air rifles legal in DC?

theneighbor said...

EXTRA WARNING: One of those ninja squirrels came up on my porch and stole my matches.....they now have fire!

Anonymous said...

Has anyone contact Peaceoholics
to negotiate a truce? If it can work for Shaw it could work for Petworth.

Anonymous said...

you folks are hilarious
nicely done!

Anonymous said...

They beat up my cat and stole her tender vittles.

Gina Grace said...

I've got a squirrel-hating hound dog for hire if anyone wants to borrow her to scare th b'Jesus out of them... It's about time she earned her keep anyway...

Anonymous said...

We have a mangy black squirrel in our back alley who has feasted from our tomato plants this summer! And it leaves left over tomato scraps on our neighbor's back porch steps. Nice!

Girasol said...

It's all part of a plot to take control of the planet but I will stop that!

Bonnie said...

Nice mention in the express!

nita said...

Hey congrats PoP! You made the BlogLog in the Washington Express!

Anonymous said...

PoP, you're just an anti-squirrel-ite.

odentex said...

I saw them on the corner discussing all of this bad press you've caused. Wouldn't surprise me if you get shot up in a scurry-by. If MPD asks me anything they can forget it. NO SNITCHING.

Christina said...

Okay, I'll just be the one to say it and y'all will know where my mind is -- is that squirrel flashing his junk?

Anonymous said...

christina, There is definite squirrel junk being flashed! They are just downright thugs!!

Anonymous said...

Well, I wouldn't worry about these things. There's a stray tabby cat lurking around for them. Just yesterday, I witnessed this orange cat pounce on and then kill a squirrel (by snapping its neck). All while his posse of squirrels watched from the oak tree above. It was in the grassy area next to the pediactric's office on 11th & Florida. Nasty, but I couldn't take my eyes off of it.